Nineteen Minutes

I Am Peter Houghton

I am an unexpected murderer.
I wonder how my life would have been if I was born someone popular like Matt Royston instead of someone who gets beat up, made fun of everyday that everyone hates and pays no attention to.
I hear the screams of the victims and feel nothing.
I see Josie's face in my mind, and even though she didn't want to be my friend anymore, could never kill.
I want people to not make fun of me and to see me as who I am instead of a nerd with thick glasses.
I am an unexpected murder

I pretend my life is someone else's and I am just simply invisible.
I feel every moment I've had in Sterling has been absolute torture since day one
I touch my gun and feel instant power.
I worry that my mom and dad will never to talk to me again even though they haven't paid a speck of attention to my my whole life.
I cry because I need help and I feel that there is no one I can trust. I can't believe what I just did.
I am an unexpected murderer.

I understand that what I did to get back at everyone for bullying me all those years wasn't the best resort but I had to somehow get revenge.
I say that people should give me a chance and listen to me so they can hear my side of the story and why I murdered and injured all the people.
I dream that my actions will be forgotten and will fade away like fog.
I try to think of the happy times in my life but there I always draw a blank.
I hope that people can stop comparing me to my perfect straight-A- student brother Joey who is dead anyway.
I am I am an unexpected murderer.